It is very cold this morning. I put on some quiet music last night and fell asleep early. I also woke up very early this morning and could not get back to sleep. I guess I have been having some problems recently, mostly anxiety over my inability to lose weight. Starting today I am going to have to pay more attention to my diet and try to cut some of the carbohydrates.
I have been researching low carb high fat diets for a while now. It doesn’t seem to make sense that eating more fat can help you lose weight, but nothing I have tried in the last year has had any lasting effect on my weight. I am up at about 230 pounds now, and never managed to get down to even 220 even with eating 1500 calories a day or less. I tried going vegan earlier this year and lost some weight, but I felt terrible and had very low energy. I have yet to give LCHF a decent try.
Winter jumped us this year in Michigan. It has been snowing every other day for the last couple weeks here. We are supposed to get even more snow today. It would be nice to live in an area with mild winters. I am already tired of having to clear snow off the vehicles, and I know it is just starting. I saw the moon set this morning, which was nice. I haven’t looked at the temperature yet, but it must be in the low 20s around here. The season is just another thing that is getting me down.
I managed to bring in a few dollars over the weekend selling a frequency counter and my BMX bike. I spent about $500 on these two items some years ago and only got $65 out of the two deals. Both items were up for sale on craigslist for almost a year, and I dropped the price I was asking just to get rid of them. Like a fool I spent $20 already on cigarettes and a couple of cheap beers. I needed some relief from my worries, and the indulgence gave me a little time to think things through.
Things have not been going well for me and my friend. She is living her own life now, which is good, and she has a job she has kept for six months. I guess we were never that compatible. We both have a lot of problems, and when we were together they got worse. I have to let her go and stop thinking about her all the time, which is hard.
So far today I have not made any plans. It looks like Dad may have found somebody who is interested in taking our pool table from the basement, which will give me some room to exercise. I would like to turn the basement into a home gym, and can not even do jumping jacks in my room here because I am so heavy the floor shakes when I try. My room is not really big enough for doing yoga either, though I have made do a few times. I got some light exercise in this morning, pedaling my desk bike.
I still do not know what I am going to do with this blog. It is a problem for me. It isn’t right to be just publishing my problems for all the world to see. My writing is not that interesting, and even my family does not read what I write. I am down to my last friend, my Dad. Things could always be worse I suppose, but I still feel the loss of my Mom last January and miss her terribly.
Well, it is time to get some food in me. I will probably just cook up a couple eggs. I might have some cottage cheese. I will not be having any more cigarettes or beer for a while, as these addictions are just not healthy. I am learning a lot about metabolism and how the human body works. I should have gone into medicine back when I was in college instead of getting a physics degree. Living creatures are so much more interesting to me than subatomic particles.