Sunny Cold Morning

The sky was clear last night and it got down to 20 degrees this morning. I passed out early last night listening to some Neil Young on YouTube. I was tired and a little wasted. I have to do something about making a better life for myself. This being poor really sucks. All I can think to do with the little money I get is to smoke and drink. This is getting me nowhere.

I suppose I should do something about writing a book. I have had a few ideas for book projects. One thing I wanted to try is to write a book on obesity and how to solve this problem. I have been doing a lot of research on this topic, but there are no easy answers. I am obese myself and can not seem to find a way to lose this stubborn weight. I am on psych meds and these things make you gain weight like mad. I also have very low energy and can never seem to get things done around the house.

The furnace seems to be working good after being out of commission for eight days. We got the fan replaced and it is keeping the house warm. I spent a lot of sleepless nights keeping the wood stove burning when the furnace was off. We are lucky enough to have a backup when things fail in the cold weather.

I am getting tired of being wasted so much. My friend was up last week and she spent the night, but she drank so much she made herself sick the next morning. Man, it is no fun having to babysit a drunken girlfriend. I think things are almost finished between her and I. I can not watch her commit slow suicide any longer. She totally ignored me for six months and then one day calls me out of the blue and wants to come over. It was probably because her parents will not let her drink any more, and she just wanted to get wasted.

This blog has gone nowhere. I used to have more views and likes when I wrote poetry. There is no way to make poetry pay. There are no jobs for poets in our society. What passes for modern culture and poetry is really just mass-marketed crap. Seriously, have you ever read the lyrics to rap music? That’s another thing that pisses me off about my friend. When she drinks she wants to listen to the most annoying rap music. Seriously, if I hear Shoulder Lean one more time I may scream.

The sun is shining through my curtains now. I can not think straight these days to write anything serious. I have been watching a lot of videos in the last couple days about farming and homesteading. It would be cool to provide for myself. I don’t see how some of these people I see have the time to do all the things they do, gardening, raising chickens, cutting wood, and still make enough money to pay the bills. Things are not like they were in the old days when you could actually live off the land.

Anyway, I have a couple other things to do this morning. I really enjoyed typing this post this morning and may do some more later. What I really should do is bring up Word and start a writing project I could sell. I think it was Samuel Johnson who once said: “None but a blockhead writes for anything but money.”


I feel like a zombie. I sleep all the time now. I have no motivation to do anything. It is cold outside and the sun is shining. I have to get my ass in gear.

Today is the third day of my most recent vegan diet attempt. My weight has been pretty steady at 213 pounds, but I still need to drop 40-50 pounds to be at a healthy weight. Yes, I am obese. My BMI is right about at 32 now. Dear gods, trying to find information on healthy weight loss online is a hopeless cause.

The sun is nice this morning, and the furnace is keeping the house warm. The furnace. It took eight days to get that thing running again, half that time waiting for the new blower motor. I ended up doing the connections on the wiring myself. I also know more about that old system than I really want to know, but it should get us through the winter.

The sun is shining from a crisp clear sky. I need to get back into writing. I didn’t really sleep last night, just passed out with the lights on and YouTube playing some shit about various eating strategies. I should find a better theme for this blog, but you know, it is never going to pay its own way, and considering I spent $99 on this site, it has done nothing for me. I’ll be back later today to write some more.


I am starting over here. I am starting over in life. I have basically nothing. The domain and hosting for this site are going to disappear in a couple months, but I do not even care. I have to get my life in order before I concern myself with any online presence.

For the last few days I have been investigating Nazi Germany. I watched a documentary on the Hitler Youth this morning. I can not believe people would be such sheep to give their own children to that maniac Hitler. I did notice one thing about these poor militarized kids though. There was not a fat kid or a skinny kid in the lot of them.

I have spent considerable time in the last year trying to research obesity. YouTube is just a horrible place to get information, and so for that matter is Google. People post any video they want claiming to be real science, and all they are doing is misleading people to promote their own agenda. Some claim we should eat only plants. Some claim we should eat only meat. The Internet is a cesspool of filth.

I am tired this morning. I am tired of trying to learn from liars. Perhaps I should take a nap.